Take this pain away.

There´s chains around my heart, that thightenings everyday, Getting harder for it to beat.
Yet im struggle to stay strong and fight that grip. 
The only thing that makes me continue fighting is my boyfriend~
Yet we dont speak or see eachother, Im still hoping that i will se him someday, miss that feeling he gives me when he looks at me with his beautiful eyes, his smile that makes me melt, and how his voice calms me down,and not to mention his hugs & kisses, its a golden ticket to heaven.
 
 
Im having 2 friends at my place now and tomorrow another friend comes and visit me also, I dosent feel "one of the group"  im an outsider,I dont belong here.. its still my appartment.. I cant do what ever i like,i cant listen to my kind of music, I cant play WoW bcus they wants to borrow my pc all the time..
Why am I being to nice? 
I just want to be alone from the world, but i cant since the world allways follows me home..
when can i escape this nightmare?